CONTRAPUNCTUM A PROCESS IN THE MAKING CONTRA PUNCTUM LIVRE IV 41. MY STIFF STICK BECOMES FLOPPY FOR YOU 42. TRASHCAN MAIL-OUT 43. As I tried to take a closer look at it 44. DEPLETED SCALE 45. A PROCESS IN THE LIVING 46. 5 PM, REST IN PIECE [ still life ] BLACKMAILING [ graphite on cellulose ] Contra Punctum The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming « Off with her head ! Off with ------- » Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in wonderland 41 MY STIFF STICK BECOMES FLOPPY FOR YOU ME, the first-born I am a lover of yours I am a lawyer for you I am a liar to you I'll tell you what you need to hear and cannot say I'll tell you what you want to say and do not believe I'll convince until conviction comes I'll plead your cause for pleasure from you And long after the very last plague from you, your preserved innocence shall remain unquestioned. 42 TRASHCAN MAIL-OUT MAIL through itself up out of the trash can Your letters scattered on the courtyard's cobblestones, amongst fish ashes cigarette peels and lemon bones How ironical that your sterile words were about to recycle into feeding matter But, untrustful, I held the cycle by a corner - I could not risk to contaminate - Careful storage seemed more adequate, under cellophane paper. Ah ! now they can't breathe, diffuse their poison Now they're mummified in their cardboard box, forcerest in peace ; Until a doomed Explorer sets them free again. 43 AS I tried to take a closer look at it, my idol fell on the floor ; and broke into pieces of various size and shape Hollowness abruptly invaded the room ( a gentle breeze swept it away ) 44 DEPLETED SCALE AREN'T my words moving enough ; that you should need a note explaining how to feel ? Is my description so weak, that you should want a chromatic injection? Hear my words, I provide the meaning and the feeling My poor words, trying to compete with overwhelming Melody 45 A PROCESS IN THE LIVING AFTER the crisis, I slowly dry my shirt, soaked with the distress I perspired ; progressively recover from my shattering, castrating emptiness. My pain writes me soothing words of suffering Ever since my pen joined the floor gliding on its own My pain, reassuring pain I hold, keep me from unfaithful Happiness I dread, keep my comfort in depression. 46 5 PM, REST IN PIECE still life 5 PM 5 Post mortem 5 hours since I'm dead, and since the pieces of my scattered body are stiffer, more and more, since I lie still in this pond of green water over my hand I reach out, although my head is out of reach From now on, how can I handle this headache ; my mind is lost somewhere, and I'm afraid it's too far gone to mind Still there's nothing anymore I've got to ponder idly over. BLACKMAILING [ graphite on cellulose ] Contra Punctum